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January 10, 2008

Proud moments - part 2

If you know our family, or if you've been around us, you might have seen it, or heard me talk of Phoenix' strong will. You also probably read about Christmas Eve.

The way things tend to go to a real showdown, is whenever Phoenix doesn't get his way. This could mean anything from us telling him to eat, to him taking a shower, or even something as simple as us helping him put his shirt on.

If you know us, you also know that we give Phoenix choices--that is when he gets his way. Other than that, we are the parents, and we are the "bosses" and he has to do what we say, and that's all.
So you can imagine how often things turn to battle. Most of the time, we have at least one a day. On bad days, we might have a showdown every time I turn around.

With his strong will, comes a temper. This is so different than what we were used to, that this too has taken us by surprise, and made me crazy many times.

So, a lot of the time, I'm trying to convey to Phoenix that getting angry is okay, but throwing things or hitting people or things is not okay. I'm sure this lesson will take a while to completely sink in.

But here's the proud moment...
The other day, Saturday, we were home all day. The boys had plenty of time to play, and do whatever, because homework was done, and they were free. They had just received new toys from grandmom, who was visiting, so there was plenty to explore.
Needless to say, while they love each other a lot, they also get into stupid arguments and fights almost every 15 minutes--a whole day of them at home gets pretty long from my perspective.

Anyway, in the midst of one of their many fights, I suddenly hear Phoenix crying. Real crying, mixed with grunting, as he comes to the living room, looking for me. Not only is he crying, but he is almost losing his breath as he's so upset, and has his fists clenched.
As it turns out, Willik was being mean and manipulative[which happens constantly] and he hit Phoenix, and really hurt Phoenix's feelings.

Phoenix grunted and clenched his fist and cried, but he did not hit his brother! That was a huge victory!
Sure, he's hit him since then, and I'm sure he'll hit again, but in a world with a strong-willed 4 year old, I've been really asking God to show me the small improvements, because it's so easy to focus on all that goes wrong. So God did.

I'm very proud of Phoenix--he is listening, and he is trying! He got a lot of praise from me for that!

Keep praying for me so that I can teach them the right things, and celebrate the small moments of victory!

Posted by glassgirl at January 10, 2008 12:24 PM

Responses

Posted by: Enoch Moses at January 11, 2008 05:03 PM

Posted by: Raquel at January 17, 2008 07:43 PM