« eBay fun | Main | School, school, school »
March 26, 2006
Perseverance
What a great and new day yesterday was. Willik started football (soccer) with the Woodhaven Soccer Club yesterday. Glaucia wrote about it in her blog. Willik hurt himself a few times during the game. He kept jumping feet first toward the ball, but was usually beat to the ball by the mob of kids surrounding the ball. That just left him lying on the ground with kids tripping over him. At one point, he had a little blood and snot mixture coming out of his nose -- not to mention his tears. This was his first real introduction to the "rat race." He was thrown into a world where everyone is after the same thing and nobody is going to wait for you to get up before they move on. He is so used to being able to feel a sense of control over the "issues" of his life. He had a real wake-up call yesterday.
Prior to yesterday's bonanza, he was very excited about soccer. He envisioned having full access to the ball, kicking it every time into the goal. What he got was a few glimpses of the ball, an occasional brush of it on his foot, trampling on by a mob, and about three good kicks.
He was crying, telling us he didn't want to play any more. It was a very critical moment in his life - and mine as a father. I could see in his eyes that he couldn't understand the point of continuing. He could kick the ball all he wanted if it was just him, Phoenix, and dad. Why fight over the ball with a bunch of kids he's never met before? In the comfort of his grandparents' backyard, he could be a superstar. He pleaded with us to bring him home. He even left the field, crying. At this moment, I'm starting to tread new waters. I didn't want to be cold-hearted and yell at him, "Quit being a big baby and get back out there!" I also didn't want to cater to his near-sightedness by letting him get away with quitting. It would have been easy to tell myself that maybe he's not ready for this and we could try it again next year. I had a deep, strong feeling that if we quit, we'd be setting a standard of quitting for the rest of his life.
We told him to keep playing. It's okay if he doesn't kick the ball into the goal, or even if he doesn't kick the ball at all. I told him to stay on his feet and to stop jumping feet first at the ball. And if he falls, get up as soon as possible. He got back in and did all of that. He jumped a couple of times at the ball, but not as much and only out of habit (I guess that's something he does at school). He didn't cry any more. We all cheered for him very loudly.
After his time on the field, we told him how proud we were of him. He kept asking me yesterday why I was proud of him for getting hurt and for only kicking the ball seven times -- who knows where he came up with that number. I told him that I was proud of him for playing and not quitting. He doesn't have to score points for me to be proud. I told him that it doesn't feel strong when you are hurt and getting back up, but it is strong and makes you stronger.
Since yesterday, he's been saying how much he loves me. He keeps hugging me. I can see a sense of security in his eyes. I actually have no idea how he is feeling. I am so thankful that I have this opportunity to build up a future man. Just when parenting has been feeling like "Stop fighting!" "Don't do that!" "Go sit in your room!", God revealed a new part of it to me. This is a learning experience for me just as much as for him. I remember messing up often in sports as a kid, but instead of encouragement to keep going I was laughed at by my older cousins. I quit every extra-curricular activity after that, because I was allowed to quit. I quit the boy scouts the moment it became challenging. I quit basketball, track and field, cross country, musical instruments. I cannot remember a single activity I followed through with as a young person. The first challenging "event" I remember actually finishing without quitting was boot camp for the Marine Corps. That was a miracle, because I was ready to quit many times during boot camp.
All the glory and honor goes to God, who is leading me by the hand every day, showing me how to be a father to my boys.
- Hebrews 12:1-3
- Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Posted by fabijo at March 26, 2006 11:23 PM
Responses
great entry! It's so heartfelt, and well written. You need to write more often! :)
Posted by: glassgirl at March 27, 2006 08:15 AM
Fab, I think you guys should look into T-Ball for Willik. It will help him get in touch with his Cuban side and is an individual sport, more to his nature of being in control and not getting runned over.
Posted by: Anonymous at March 28, 2006 11:55 AM
What a moving story! Your relationship with God and with yourself are very insightful, when dealing with children. My son has been asking to get enrolled in soccer, but we are about to move in a few months, so we are waffling on whether to commit to this or not. He keeps asking, and it is a healthy request, that shows he hunger to move out and compete in a bigger world. As my only son, and being the oldest, he is the biggest fish in our little pond, but he needs to bring his world view into perspective by getting put into a bigger pond and rising to the occasion. Thanks for the insight, Fab. I love how God uses your perspective to reach me.
Posted by: Aaron at April 12, 2006 01:00 PM
good stuff, fab..I have a 15 yr old son, whom I never pushed into sports...tho did buy him some golf clubs, but he has taken more to xbox and computer games. He does do well in school. Your story gives me pause to think more about his feelings and growth into a man.
Posted by: Futurestrader ;-) at September 29, 2006 02:34 PM
Hello, I enjoyed meeting your kids on line. They are beautiful!!!!!Aren't all the Mirs beautiful????? lol. Anyway you are probably wondering who I am. You know of me, but we never met. I have known your family for 9 plus years.
Maybe you can guess. I just reentered The Mir's life. Hope it is all Good. I'm happy.
Take care
God bless
PS. Here is a hint... I have a beautiful blond daughter. She is 11 going on 16. ugghhhh
God Help me. She is born again and loves God very much. She was brought up in a Penecostal Church.
Emerald Sunshine
Posted by: Emerald at December 14, 2006 09:48 AM