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August 18, 2005
What Enemies?
Well, I started this blog to chronicle what depths of God's love I would discover by trusting Him and loving my enemies. I was expecting to go through some crazy times as soon as I made that decision. I thought that I would be tested beyond comprehension by encountering some of the most unloveable people on the planet. I guess I don't really make enemies too easily! :)
I don't have any stories of having to forgive someone who kidnapped me and my family and tortured us, trying to make us deny Christ. Nor do I have any accounts of being robbed in the street and me being able to share about God's love to someone pointing a gun at me. I was expecting all kinds of extreme challenges, yet nothing of what I expected came.
The biggest challenges have come from right within my home. The moments where I feel Glaucia may not have understood what I just said. Or when she asks me to do something that I'm just about to do anyway. Those simple moments were usually ones where I would get very upset and snap back with something like, "What do you THINK I'm doing?" or "What about you? What did YOU do all day?" These tiny moments every day have been the ones where I've been challenged with having a loving attitude. God has been showing me how patient He is with me and how much I need to learn. He has given me peace in those moments and it has created much more fruitful conversations with Glaucia. And I've realized that the problem is not with Glaucia in those moments, but with myself. I've been the one with the impure heart interpreting her tone of voice wrong.
Another challenge is with the children. God is so patient with me. He'll let me get away with rebellion and disobedience for months before I feel the consequences of it. With my kids, I can sometimes expect instant obedience and get very frustrated when they don't listen. I believe God is trying to show me that I shouldn't DEMAND trust and obedience. God does not demand it from me, He desires it. He gives me the freedom to choose and He risks losing my trust. I need to let my kids choose, and be consistent and let them suffer consequences. And I need to be there to pull them out of trouble when they ask for my help. I definitely don't know all the answers, but I'm just gonna stick with it and keep trying to emulate God for my children.
So, loving enemies is somewhat easy. Forgiving the tiny stabs our family and friends can unknowingly do is alot harder.
Posted by fabijo at August 18, 2005 12:41 AM
Responses
Even though I am not raising kids anymore, I confess to having watched the Nanny sometimes on TV so I can see how parents and children can rebalance when things get out of whack.
In watching this show, it seems to me that the biggest thing to get back on track, is to make the kids feel like you are really hearing them and that you appreciate when they do things right and give them some kind of recognition with stars or something. And also consistancy and do not contribute to getting them wound up.
I believe that keeping busy all the time around the house, keeps the kids quieter because then then have you to watch. The same thing works with pets.
Posted by: Pop at August 18, 2005 04:13 PM
I agree wholeheartedly! Loving those closest to us that are the most vulnerable is a challenge. I have had opportunity to run into haters around the neighborhood I have recently moved into. I have made cookies and shared with all the neighbors at least once and some twice. They always look at me like I am a visitor from outer space! Everytime I talk with a neighbor they seem to want to talk about one of the other neighbors and explain to me why they feel slighted or why they are justified in not talking to them. I don't feel God leading me to talk, so I just listen, and steer the conversation back to compliments or God if possible. I don't know what else to do to break through thier apparent hate for each other, so I decided to pray for the marriages of all our neighbors. I figure if couples were happier with thier own marriages they wouldn't talk so much about other peoples...I know my weakness is to be bothered by others when they display the same weaknesses I struggle with. Along that line of thought, this is how I have detected my big problems...by seeing what truly upsets me about others. Isn't that crazy?
Posted by: Aaron Evans at September 2, 2005 08:44 PM
I was reading your thoughts again and wanted to share some new insights; I am finding that the little stabs we do to each other (family) are just expressions of something deeper that is troubling us. The 'something' deeper could be anything, but it has usually been a fear that we have been afraid to share, or a need we have been afraid to ask to have met.
So here is a clue for you...If you find yourself going round and round with a loved one about a shallow, simple little problem; Stop, show love, and ask what is the real problem. Love, support, acceptance and encouragement are necesary for a person to share the 'something deeper' that is truly troubling them. I find that with Christina; we go round and round and we both get frustrated then I tell her " go sit on the couch", then I get the lotion and rub her feet. Something about the touch, and the serving, shows me it is okay to listen only, and shows her it is safe to share only. Do any of the other readers have rituals/traditions like this that calm you down and make it possible to share that "something deeper' that is troubling you?
Thanks for inciting such sharing Fab!
Posted by: Aaron Evans at September 12, 2005 09:52 AM